The sword and the pen

Don't let me out of this kiss
Don't let me say what I say
The things that scare us today
What if they happen someday
Don't let me out of your arms
For now

Ohai.

Long time no talk, my friends. Or friend. I don't know how many people read this after my last two posts. Well, let me explain. The one post has Between the Buried and Me lyrics that I was going to use for my song of the blog, but I got lazy, so I just posted the lyrics and let it be. Then, the second post was just me being curious. I got some very insightful input as to what I should do with this post, along with a challenge from a friend of mine. Guess we'll see how that works out for them in the end. But anyways, let's get on to today's main topic, shall we?

What if the sword kills the pen
What if the God kills the man
And if he does it with love
Well then it's death from above
And death from above is still a death

So, if you know me, you know that I really don't like to get into confrontation too much. I hate what it does to certain people, and after living who I lived with last year, confrontation became something that I just couldn't really do anymore. There are, though, a few topics that when brought up, I will speak my peace, and then usually let it be. One of these topics is, as no surprise, music. Me being a musician, I get pretty caught up when it comes to music discussions. And ever since last year, I've gotten a more diverse taste in my music. This continues to confuse some people since I can go from listening to Dream Theater, to Ke$ha, and then back to Enter Shikari all in one playlist. A few days ago, a friend of mine posted a video of a bunch of guys doing a version of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. Granted, the video was good for a laugh. It's the comment he added with the video that frustrated me.

"These guys are more talented than Lady Gaga could ever hope to be. It doesn't take too much to sound better than her, hu?"

I don't want to live without you
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to live
I don't want to live
Without you

Now... This comment made me mad for many reasons. The reason why he said that is because he personally just doesn't like her music. I proceeded to post a video of her doing the same song, but the acoustic version of it using only her voice and the keyboard. Rather than being a pop song, the song ends up being more of a progressive jazz song. To deny the fact that she had talent would honestly mean that you don't know what music is, even if you didn't like her music. But, he continued to try and tell me that she had no talent just because he didn't like how the song turned out. He then also tried to tell me that Michal Jackson had no talent either.

Oh, here is where things get good.

For those who still can recall
The desperate colors of fall
The sweet caresses of May
Only in poems remain
No one recites them these days
For the shame

Now, I'm not going to lie. I'm not the biggest fan of Michal Jackson's music. There was always just something about his voice that set me off about a large portion of his songs. Though, the music and the lyrics are nothing to look down at. He was extremely talented at what he did and built himself a legacy around his music. To deny that would also be ridiculous. And the fact that he tried to tell me that Michal Jackson had no talent actually angered me for some reason. I don't understand how someone who thinks that he is going to try to manage a shitty local band is going to tell me that a musical genius like him has no talent.

Then I stooped to "his" level.
Who's level, you ask?
So what if nothing is safe
So what if no one is saved
No matter how sweet
No matter how brave
What if each to his own lonely grave
That's between me and no one.
I proceeded to tell him that they had more talent than half of the bands out there today has, especially more than his favorite band, Blink 182, does. Now, I understand that was a bit of a low blow on my part, so I'm going to rephrase what I said back then. I'm not going to deny that Blink 182 was part of a big movement of punk rock back in the day. The problem, though, is that a large portion of their material sounds the same. Some of the older songs even sound very similar to their newest material. This isn't a bad thing, though. Going back to your roots is always a good thing to do as a band. But there is a different between applying similar ideas and using the exact same chords with a slightly different melody. Again, this was a bit of a low blow on my part, and I will apologize for that. Though he got all defensive and tried to tell me about all of the other bands and different genres of music that he listens to and tried to make himself sound all intelligent and stuff. In the end, he just kind of made himself sound like a jerk, though I'm sure I did the same by starting the conversation to begin with.

I don't want to live without you
I don't want to live without you

Moral of the story... I need to keep my mouth shut more often. Less annoying shit happens that way.

I don't want to live
I don't want to live
Without you

Obai.

Legit question

Would you care if I deleted this blog all together?
I'm just curious.
Actually answer me if so.
I kinda have a desire to do it, and I kinda don't.
I guess it's up to you guys.

One week

That's about how long I give this blog before I take it down for good.
That is all.

At least I wrote it all down.

Ohai.



I'm fucking delirious right now
Glorious evening of nodding and jump starts
I need to make a personal dance party
The brain works very weird at this hour
Not the best time for lyrics
I suppose



Keep writing
Keep dreaming
Nope, can't be awake and dream
Drifting in and out, in and out



Eye motions, in out, heat lightning
Scares us both
The only two people awake at this fucking hour
I won't remember this in the morning
At least I wrote it all down
Please pick the right song
The one that keeps the eyes wide



Creepy...Creepy...Creepy
Yes, creepy
The idea of control
Controlling death with alertness
When is the fucking sun coming up
The ideal of control
Yes, Creepy
Controlling death with alertness



Then it all changes
Same scenery but sun involved
Shouldn't be much different
Alaska, Alaska



Tick tock tick tock
The rain is pouring now
Wide awake
At least for now
Nature can be the death of me
A thing we'll never overcome
In..out...in...out...



Obai.

Oh really?

Ohai.

I AM CANNIBAL!
I love you
I've had an awesome weekend.
I really needed this.
Relaxing.
Just hanging out with the two coolest people I know.
This needs to happen more.
Just throwing that out there.
I warned you
I AM CANNIBAL!

Rawr.

Obai.

Anything can happen...

His eyes are locked on her
Her eyes are fixed elsewhere
He's confident, but he's unaware she doesn't care
Their only connection is the silence they both grasp
He's lost control, but she's unaware
Of his stare

Ohai.

Where were we when we last talked? Oh yeah, I was going to go more in depth with you about the latest dream I've been having lately. This one could be fun. Haha. The last dream that I had was....Well, if you really care to read about it, it's in a post from a few months ago. If you really feel like digging for it, go for it. I'm not going to rehash an old dream. Granted, the little nightmare likes to pop it's head again every so often, but that's really beyond the point. You're here to read about this newer and more frequent dream.

Everything seems to intimidate him
With the strobe lights flashing
Her body's jolting
But cracking as his eyes
Split in two
If only she knew

Starts off with me in my parents room, taking a picture of myself in front of the mirror. I was so afraid that the outfit that I was wearing wasn't dressy enough, or too dressy. I end up staying with what I was wearing, and head over to her place to pick her up. After getting her, we head downtown. That alone is a chore because I'm directionally retarded. Finally reaching the play house, early at that, we just sit outside and speculate on how good the play will actually be.

The curtain goes down
on him again
The curtain goes down
on them again

I never actually dream about the play. Weird. It just skips right to when we go to dinner.

Then it skips again. Going right to when we go to my house. It's weird. I remember those two things better than anything in my actual mind, but when I have this dream...Nothing. Anyways...

Everything seems to be closing in on her
It feels just like she is being haunted
But it's alright, it's ok
She's unaware of his stare

I'm going to purposely leave the last part of my dream out. This is because I usually wake up at some point during this part, or if I do make it all the way through, it's not something I really feel the need to share with you. Though it ends with me dropping her off at her house, her trying to walk out of the car, and me stopping her, saying,

"I only counted 99"

Awwww...How fucking sappy.

What does this dream mean? Is there any meaning behind it at all? Maybe. Maybe not. Oh well. I think that's enough for one night, though. I think I'm gonna turn in soon. Night world.
Love you...:P
Obai.

P.S.

Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world...

Hectic

To the multi story car park
With out friends
Drinking from a bottle
Of white lightning
On top of marks and sparks
Roof running
Smoking
Chronic
Hectic!

Ohai.

So. Hi. I guess? I'm not exactly sure how this one will go over, so you'll have to forgive me in advance. I really don't have much to write about at the moment. Well, that's a lie right off the start. I need to be more honest with you people. We've been talking for quite a while now, and I still feel the need to lie to you. Why is that? Maybe I'm afraid to let you know what I'm actually thinking. Or better yet, let actual people know what I'm thinking. Who knows the real reason, really. 75% of what I write on here is total bullshit anyways. You always have to read between the lines to find out what I'm really getting at anyways.

And it seems that
Nothing now will ever change
And it seems that
We're on our own again

So the other night, I got into a conversation with my archenemy. I have to say, it's been quite a while since we've sat down and had an actual talk. I've really missed that closeness with someone, being able to share just about anything and everything with them and not have to worry about being judged or ridiculed. The problem is, I wasn't able to share everything. I so wanted to. It was right on the tip of my tongue. Five more minutes...That's all I would've needed, more than likely. Though to be honest, not that it really mattered. My Archenemy can read me like a book. I'm pretty sure they knew what I was thinking. And that sucks... The reason being is that it doesn't matter anymore. Not really, at any rate. I'm just glad that I have my best friend back. I've missed them.

We'll convene at mine 3PM to play Sega Megadrive
Axe and Sonic all day
Never played it?
Can't hack it?
Whilst Pendell's making rhymes in the corner

Are you confused with what I'm saying? Good. That's how I like it anyways.

With a litre of finest Scrumpy Jack
Whilst PDEX pumps out the latest big club track
We'll take it to Justin's and his is King Kong
Then we'll gather round the piano for a little sing song

Sooooooooooo...Anything else? Anything at all? Well, I'm planning a trip to visit a few friends this weekend, but at the moment it's been put on hold. I need to figure out what's going on with that. That'll determine what I end up doing for the whole weekend in general. I'd really like to have plans. Just sayin. I need an escape from my douche of a roommate, and going and visiting her would be fantastic. I'm pretty sure we haven't seen each other in quite a while...Too long, for sure. Tomorrow...I have a fairly short day, so I'm going to go smoke some hookah. I've needed a reason to just chill out and be alone with my thoughts for a while. I may bring my computer and blog while doing so. That would be a fun one.

Oh if I could kidnap that feeling
The one that melts all fear's from your mind
I'd make no demands, no ransom
'Cause I'd never set it free

What? You're still confused? Wow. You're more stupid than me. Maybe I'll rewrite the other blog some other time. Not tonight, though. I'm just not feeling it. I've had quite the crummy day, and I've been looking around, hoping to see some smiling face to cheer me up. It just seemed to be a terrible hump day for everyone. No one could even fake a smile. School, man. It just takes the best of us and drains us. Not to mention the one's who work on top of that. I couldn't keep up with it, that's for sure. I envy those who are able to, for sure. But...For the time being, that's all I've really got. I know, you were expecting a little more information. Well, I was honestly hoping to tell you more. I can't do it, though. Like I said, not now. Not till I get a few things straightened up. The truth isn't going to be coming out first on here, of all places. Just sayin

And it seems that
Nothing now will ever change
And it seems like
We're on our own again
No shit, right?
Obai.

Pavlov's Daughter

Ohai.

The grave diggers getting stuck in the machine
Picking getting slim, slimmer
I hear them say my name
Regina, Regina, Regina, a...a...

It's a lazy night tonight. The kind of night where I feel the need to try and get something done, but everytime I start something, I put it off and go back to a state of doing nothing. This blog may be a bit of a different one for me, so forgive me. But then again, when do I really have a "normal" blog anymore? Thinking further, what is a "normal" blog for me? That's too deep of thinking for tonight...Let's move on.

Yes I'm putting the boulder to my ear
And I still can't hear
What do you think I was an amateur
Playin' with my temperature

I'm a handful of meetings away from actually having a major and back into having an actual drive and motivation for life rather than the one that I have right now. That being that if I don't choose a major soon, I'm going to get left behind while everyone else moves on. I can't wait to actually make a decision. I kind of want to rush and just choose OLS for sure, but I need to make sure it's going to be something that I'll be able to do. More so, I want to make sure that it's something that I'm going to enjoy and be able to make a good living with. Sucks that money has to be such a big deal, but that's just the way it goes. Plus, if I do go OLS, I'll have a handful of internships that I could do when the time called for it already lined up. I knew there was a reason I was staying with my job for as long as I have. It may finally be paying off.

If I hear another song about angels
If I see another feather on the dumb box
I'm gonna go to Babylon and get me some whiskey

Though I don't know if this doesn't replace the fact that I haven't got a raise since I've started working there. $7.50 an hour.....Blah.

My name is Lucille and I know how you feel
I live downstairs
I hear you taking out your garbage
I hear you loving your girlfriend
I hear you loving yourself too

Other than that, nothing much else going on with me. Life is reached another fairly boring part. School takes up so much more time than I'd like, but I have to not loose my focus this year. I don't want to dig myself into an even deeper hole than I did, to the point where there may be no return. I've got a handful of friends that have really be motivating and pushing me to do my best, and I have to thank them for everything they've done for me. I don't know where I would be without those people. I'm going to make it to the top, this I'm sure of.

I hear you flushing your toilet
I hear you turning you thoughts off
I turn mine off too
The only thing I hear is you
And you don't sound nice, and you don't sound good

One think that's been eating at me...It really shouldn't, but it's one of those things that you can't help but get upset about. I can't really talk too much about it on here because I don't know who still reads this thing anymore, and if the wrong person reads this, they'll twist everything that I say into something completely different, like they always seem to do. Long story short, most of my old band has gotten back together, minus me and the old singer. The funny thing is, and no one can deny this, the only reason we ever go anywhere was because of the singer we had. The only reason he didn't put his all into the band at the time was because he really did not care for one of the members in the band. So that's why he went on to the other band he was in for a while. Though, to see them getting back together brings back some memories. Hope they actually do something decent. Me and Phil have gotten together and started playing music again, even started writing some stuff. So I'm really hoping that me and him get something going again.

Pavlov's daughter woke up in the morning
Heard the bell ring
And something inside of her made her want to salivate
So she lay there drooling on her pillow
So she lay there
The sun skimming her skin

I need a new release for my muse. This whole blogging thing is really getting old, anyways. I'm seeing people use them for such childish things, and it makes me disappointed. Granted, I don't have too much room to talk. I used to do the same thing with mine, even sometime still do. But really? I just want to do a constant facepalm when I read some of the stuff that people post on these. Some people just come to them to cry, some of them come and talk above everyone else, others just talk in riddles so they confuse everyone they know. Again, I'm in no way saying that their is a certain way that someone should write a blog. I guess I just don't like games. If you are going to say something, be straight forward with it.
Or if anything, use hidden messages.
And it was far away and hazy like a dream
Not a dream, not a dream
But the ocean, not the ocean
But forever...

Alright, I think that's enough for one night. I need to head to bed soon, anyway. I've got a long week coming up. I'm really looking for a get away this weekend. I may try to see what the archenemy is up to, or if anything, stay at a friends apartment or something.
Miss you
I hear you turning your thoughts off
And I turn mine off too
The only thing I hear is you

Obai.