Uprising

Paranoia is in bloom
The PR transmissions will resume
They'll try to push the drugs that keep us all dumbed down
And hope the we will never see the truth around
So come on...
Ohai.

Welcome back.



I know, I know. I feel the same way whenever I go to write one of these. :P

I'm going to try to keep these going again. This time I mean it. This time, I mean everything that I say. Looking back at my past, I've said a lot of things that I didn't mean. But that is one thing that I plan on changing. I'm going to become a better person in general. To be frank with you, I'm not very fond of myself, and only a handful of people in my life can actually tolerate with my day to day crap. I can't blame them either. But that will change. I'm becoming an overall better person for myself
And for you...
Now is just the matter of actually doing it.

Another promise, another scene
Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed,
And all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined
So come on...
A bit of a side note. Is may not be recording my demo anymore. Instead I may be joining what I consider to be the most talented local band that I have heard in ages. I'm not allowed to say too much on the matter right now, but basically I've been asked to come play with them and to see how everything feels during that time. I'm super nervous, but I can't wait. Though I actually haven't picked up my guitar in forever.....Uh oh.......

I hate myself.

Oh boy, here is the Jeff we know and love.

Can I explain myself before you judge?!

Fine...Pussy.

Glad to see we're on good terms again.

Anyways...

I recently sat down and had a conversation with a friend about who we were as people, and I've come to some realizations about myself. One thing is that I'm sometimes too animated of a person. I also have a very "animated" look about me. Now, this is hard to explain if you don't already understand what I'm saying. Some people are cookie cutter good looking, other people aren't exactly beautiful, but they have little things that make them stand out and still attractive. Me...Well, I don't have much going for me. So I'm changing a few things. I'm quitting Yu-Gi-Oh...Because that was definitely not helping me get a girlfriend. I'm going back to playing guitar more. I'm getting a new hair cut. I'm gonna try and get in better shape. Blah blah blah. Who am I fooling? Hopefully myself. It's just a bunch of little things that I don't like about myself that I wish I could change.

Wow...This blog is worse than any of the other that I've written in a while. I just have nothing to write about anymore. I need a theme for my blog. If you actually still read this garbage and have ideas for me...PLEASE give them to me. Otherwise, I may go back to my original idea of just deleting this blog site all together.

Too many memories on here that I would rather forget
Though they still show up in my dreams. :P
Well...I could go into the two vertigo attacks I've had lately, along with a few other things that I've been doing lately, but I don't really feel the need to share those with anyone. Sooooo I think I'm gonna end this one off a bit early. Next time I should hopefully have something better to write about.
Yeah right. Who are you fooling?
They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious
So come on...
Obai.

I've got a dick full of helium, I'll fuck you up.

Don't leave me swinging in the wind until November
I am here
I am not going away
Hey, if I was you, I may want me to go away too
But you know what the hell, do what you have to do

Ohai.

It's almost two 'o clock in the morning. I'm washing my work clothes since I haven't been able to wash them since I've started working. Kind of gross to be frank, but I've been hella busy. As I'm sure you've been able to tell with my lack of posts on here. To be honest, I'd be surprised if anyone even still checks my blog page anymore to see if I update. I'll admit, I love reading my friends blogs. I love being able to take that extra step into there personal self, even if I already know what they are talking about. The fact that other people have ideas and thoughts just remind me how awesome our creativity as humans can be.

But here is the problem.

I don't want anyone in my head anymore. To be quite honest with you, I don't trust a single person anymore. Well, I take that back. There are a handful of people that I would still take a bullet for. Granted, that number is sooooooooo much lower than it was maybe 10 months ago or so. I have my own reason for not trusting people anymore. I really want to let someone back in my life again. I've been looking for quite some time actually. The problem, when you think you've had the best, it's hard to replace it. I've had to do that three times now. Obviously, you never find the best though. "The best" doesn't really exists. You find someone who you can deal with. You find as close as you can, but there are always qualities of that person that drive you crazy. You just learn to hide these feelings of frustration and anger. Some consider this a talent, while others think that it's the worst possible thing that you could do to your significant other. But those are the people that do it without even realize it.
Something I do all too well...
A boy, a girl, a middle aged bitch
Botox in the third person
Wow...I sound so pesimistic on the matter...
By the way, don't think anything of the lyrics that I'm using in this particular blog. It's all random songs on YouTube from some of my favorite users. A lot of amazing content was posted in the last week. I think I've spent most of my time when listening to music listening to either Bo Burnham or Schmoyoho. Awesome stuff.
I think I'm jealous
Honestly, that's half of the reason why I'm motivated to record my demo again. I know what you're thinking. That I already said this at the beginning of the summer and look how that turned out, right? Well, keep in mind, I hit quite a few road bumps during this summer. But I think it's actually going to happen this time. I have the best drummer possible doing drums for me, along with professional recoding gear. I don't know...I'm not going to say too much more on the matter. I'm not going to get myself over excited about it only to fail like it did a few months ago.
Course, you'll never know
Well, I think that is enough for my first post in a while. To be honest, I have a paper to write for my EDPS 105 class due tomorrow morning, and I just needed to get myself in a writing mode. Now that I am, this paper will be done in like 15 minutes.
I miss you....Sad, hu?
Obai.

Disclaimer
I feel the need to put this up since a lot of people don't know how to "read" my blog. This is just my random thoughts at the time. They may or may not be how I actually feel about things. Also, never think that I am talking about you specificly unless I address you by name in the post. That just saves you and me so much unneeded drama. Please and thanks.
And you just lost the game.
If you know about me to be true, let it be these two truths.

I hate catchy choruses
and I'm a hypocrite.
Hungry, hungry hypocrite.