I've got a dick full of helium, I'll fuck you up.

Don't leave me swinging in the wind until November
I am here
I am not going away
Hey, if I was you, I may want me to go away too
But you know what the hell, do what you have to do

Ohai.

It's almost two 'o clock in the morning. I'm washing my work clothes since I haven't been able to wash them since I've started working. Kind of gross to be frank, but I've been hella busy. As I'm sure you've been able to tell with my lack of posts on here. To be honest, I'd be surprised if anyone even still checks my blog page anymore to see if I update. I'll admit, I love reading my friends blogs. I love being able to take that extra step into there personal self, even if I already know what they are talking about. The fact that other people have ideas and thoughts just remind me how awesome our creativity as humans can be.

But here is the problem.

I don't want anyone in my head anymore. To be quite honest with you, I don't trust a single person anymore. Well, I take that back. There are a handful of people that I would still take a bullet for. Granted, that number is sooooooooo much lower than it was maybe 10 months ago or so. I have my own reason for not trusting people anymore. I really want to let someone back in my life again. I've been looking for quite some time actually. The problem, when you think you've had the best, it's hard to replace it. I've had to do that three times now. Obviously, you never find the best though. "The best" doesn't really exists. You find someone who you can deal with. You find as close as you can, but there are always qualities of that person that drive you crazy. You just learn to hide these feelings of frustration and anger. Some consider this a talent, while others think that it's the worst possible thing that you could do to your significant other. But those are the people that do it without even realize it.
Something I do all too well...
A boy, a girl, a middle aged bitch
Botox in the third person
Wow...I sound so pesimistic on the matter...
By the way, don't think anything of the lyrics that I'm using in this particular blog. It's all random songs on YouTube from some of my favorite users. A lot of amazing content was posted in the last week. I think I've spent most of my time when listening to music listening to either Bo Burnham or Schmoyoho. Awesome stuff.
I think I'm jealous
Honestly, that's half of the reason why I'm motivated to record my demo again. I know what you're thinking. That I already said this at the beginning of the summer and look how that turned out, right? Well, keep in mind, I hit quite a few road bumps during this summer. But I think it's actually going to happen this time. I have the best drummer possible doing drums for me, along with professional recoding gear. I don't know...I'm not going to say too much more on the matter. I'm not going to get myself over excited about it only to fail like it did a few months ago.
Course, you'll never know
Well, I think that is enough for my first post in a while. To be honest, I have a paper to write for my EDPS 105 class due tomorrow morning, and I just needed to get myself in a writing mode. Now that I am, this paper will be done in like 15 minutes.
I miss you....Sad, hu?
Obai.

Disclaimer
I feel the need to put this up since a lot of people don't know how to "read" my blog. This is just my random thoughts at the time. They may or may not be how I actually feel about things. Also, never think that I am talking about you specificly unless I address you by name in the post. That just saves you and me so much unneeded drama. Please and thanks.
And you just lost the game.
If you know about me to be true, let it be these two truths.

I hate catchy choruses
and I'm a hypocrite.
Hungry, hungry hypocrite.