Florida...here I come...

Ohai.

What if I told you that the last time that you saw me was, indeed, the last time that you would see me?

What an attention getter, hu?

Welcome, once again, to my cluster fuck of thoughts organized for no one in particular. Even the creepers in the closet seem to have gotten bored with reading these, so I’m just rambling to no one in particular it seems. But, I continue to do it anyways. Why? Well, because this wasn’t intended for other people to read in the end. It was for me to watch myself grow, and to see what input I can get as far as what I should do with the current situations in my life.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

So, after talking to people who I consider my friends, I’ve realized what people actually think about me. They think that I can’t handle the truth, and they think that I’m a suicidal person. This just makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. I thought that people knew me better, but I suppose that I need to bring this out now so people understand why I’ve been sort of down for the past three plus months. My dad is dying…there’s no nice way of saying it. He has his vertigo attacks, and they used to be an already scary experience. Recently, however, they’ve become more frequent…to the point of almost one every other day. On top of that, they now hit him so fast and so hard that he doesn’t have time to prepare himself. The last one I saw him have, he instantly fell backwards because he didn’t have time to regain himself or to reach out in front of him to hold his balance. The only way for him to even have a chance as far as fixing this is brain surgery, which scares the living piss out of my dad. One, because it’s not even guaranteed to fix what’s wrong with him. Two, the surgery could kill him as well. So yeah…needless to say, I’m a little worried either way. Me not being a religious man, this may sound weird if I say it, but to whatever God or higher being you pray to, please keep my dad in your prayers. My family is about to leave on spring break to Florida and I’m concerned with him doing any driving at all. Hopefully my mom and my brother will be able to take control of things if anything were to go bad…-knocks on wood-

And right after I finish typing that paragraph, I get a call from my mom telling me my dad had an attack WHILE driving, and wrecked the crash majorly….fuck this, I’m ending this here…nothing I have to say matters right now.

Obai.