It doesn't seem to matter...

Ohai
I mean, it's just daydreaming, right?
I saved a place for you
I saved a place for all of you
I wanna pull you all in
I want you guessing where the truth can win

You have no idea how happy I am right now. I was laying in bed last night trying to find sleep, and I started to hum a melody out of nowhere. I knew instantly what song it was, and it made me feel so much more content about ending the day. Back in the mid 2000s, there was a band called Army of Anyone. The singer of Filter, and the musicians of Stone Temple Pilots. They only released one album, but it was my favorite album until I discovered Dream Theater. I'm just ranting about music, I know. It's one of the few things though that will always give me, if anything, momentary bliss. DON'T TAKE THAT FROM ME!

Let's all fake happiness
We'll put on a good show
We'll lie through our teeth
We'll kill who tries to cheat
Amen

And this is why I haven't been able to get much of anything other than school work done lately. I sat down and started this, but then ended up getting lost in my own thoughts. Daydreaming has really been the death of me lately. Or, the death of my productivity, really. I can't keep focused on much for the past week. It's crazy. I end up in the wildest of places when I let my mind run wild...

It doesn't seem to matter
When it's all about you
It doesn't seem to matter
When it's all aimed at you

I sometimes find myself on the stage of Big Day Out. Next to me is Phil, getting warmed up before the show. Kurt and Ben are there, too. Along with Kyle. We all exchange a last few words, and then run out there and play to a crowd of thousands upon thousands of people. With each song, I get more and more pumped up. Phil and I harmonizing, Ben and I passing off solos, the heaviest of rock songs to the slowest of acoustic songs. It sometimes feels like we play a set that goes on for days and days, but I never tire.

I'll try to make amends
I'll try to mend all of you
I want to let you all in
I want to live where the truth can win

Or how about this one. Just laying in my bed. And there they are. Right next to me. Water beds make it difficult for two people to be laying on it, or even just sitting on them. We're both just looking up at my ceiling and talking. Joking. Smiling. Whenever I need something to cheer me up, I think back to that. I remember feeling on top of the world, like for once I was doing something right. Then they leaned over and kissed me on the check. Fucking surreal.

Let's all make happiness
We'll put on a good show
With blood in the streets
We'll kill who tried to cheat
Amen

But not all daydreams can be happy ones. A constant one I have... I find myself sitting in a cubical. Desk work. Paper work. Busy work. Bitch work. I find myself looking at the clock every half hour, just waiting for the work day to end. Finally, 5:00 comes around, and I dash out to my little piece of shit car. I drive through a downtown area. It looks like Indianapolis, but part of me hopes that it's not. The other part of me knows that it is, though. I drive up to a parking complex, praying that my car can make it up the slope one more time. I walk into my lonely apartment, throw my coat and briefcase onto the floor, and plop onto the couch. After hours of mind-numbing tv, I crawl into bed, only to know that tomorrow isn't going to be any different than that day.

It doesn't seem to matter
When it's all aimed at you
It doesn't seem to matter
When it's all aimed at you

Like I said, the imagination is a very powerful, and sometimes scary, skill we have. It can take us to the happiest of places, or it can show us our worst nightmares come to life. I left out my all time favorite daydream, along with my worst one, for obvious reasons. They're personal to me, and I feel like I don't need to say them out loud. I need to get my mind straight though. Long week ahead of me. I want to say that I'm looking forward to the weekend, but I have nothing going on... Again. Maybe I'll try to... Nah, it won't happen.

I want to let you all in
I want to live where the truth can win
What could be the harm?
Obai.