Who invited the Russian soilder?

Ohai

Wait till they send your son home in a box
See if you're dancing when water is everywhere
Anguish is endless but deaths unambiguous

Well, here we are again. On the edge of midnight, and I can't help but feel more alone than usual. I was supposed to be at a party tonight, but of course I got sick during the day. No way I was going to a place where the main intention is to get drunk and enjoy myself when I was feeling the way I did. So I went with the night in the dorm alone. Of course, when I do that, my thoughts start to take over, and a bit of day dreaming starts to take place. It's always fantastic how far a little imagination can take you.

Wave as it carries him off
And pose while it fits you in hospital gowns
Flirt with the men dressed in white
Slip into bed with the fire that consumes your house

I've been trying to keep a more positive attitude about things as they happen lately, and I would like to think that I've been doing a pretty good job of doing that so far. I've come to terms with the fact that eventually I'm going to die, and that there is a slight possibility that there may or may not be anything after this, so I don't want to waste the time that I've been given by being depressed or anything like that. Though, in some instances, it really can't be helped. I start to see how happy everyone is, and I wonder what it is that they have that I don't.

Sing on your surveillance tape
Smile in your autopsy photo for once
Phone up the boys that have buried your bones
Where do you get off loving life?
As if it's done any of us any good
You're going to wish you were me when the unsuspecting are dragged
To their graves
And you're standing on the edge holding a rose

Is it their significant other? Is it just the group of friends they have? Is it the choices that they make? Who knows.

Dead where we stand and you concern yourself with such things as your status
And what's in fashion
Don't say you can't be this bothered
Death becomes us all
You've got some nerve having hope in the ghost town port of call

I've told myself not to let myself get too wrapped up in such things. I have more important things to be worried about, and it's true. My grades are going up, and that's a good thing. I don't want to lose this upward momentum that I have with my grades and let myself slip behind like I did last year. Looking back, I would say that I've changed quite a bit as a person from back there, but at the same time I'm still the same old me. I just for once have a clear head about what it is I want to do with my college career. As far as once I get out of college, that's a different story. But, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Someday your insides will turn themselves out
Tell me what purpose our efforts have served
When we end up in the ground
More acts will follow the roles we have plays
Everything loved will expire
I've seen it all and I'm worse off because of it

I just need something to inspire me again.... I feel like I'm slowly dying from a lack of creativity... A drought of inspiration...

Good men have died in my arms
I've been everywhere yet we'll all end up at the same depth
What's the point

So, I started this last night, and couldn't bring myself to finish it. I don't know why, but just being on this page at night makes me feel sad. Meh. Maybe I'll just start writing blogs during the day. If I even continue to do them. Are you sick of hearing that yet? It's like I keep saying that I'll eventually stop, but I think I'm addicted. This page is still gonna be around and be updated when I get old, maybe even till the day I die. Who knows. Anyways, it's a new day. Let's make the most of it, I guess.

There is nothing to see here
And nothing gazes back at me

Obai.