ALL CAPS

Don't unplug me, or just shut me down
Please just love me with your steel heart
I'd reboot you if you'd look at me
Please just love me one more time

Ohai

Another sleepless night for this tired soul. One would assume that after a while my body would just give in and I would crash for a full day. But at any rate...Let's dive right into this shall we.

I feel very unprepared for this. Whenever I do an actual blog post, I do a lot of mental preparation for it. Usually end up thinking about it all day. Right down to the song I'm going to use, what I'm going to cover in the blog itself. Sometimes even the placement of my hidden messages.

Tonight though, I feel like a ComicFire7 video. I don't really have a plan for this. I've got ideas. Nothing really solid or that could be called a blog post on it's own. So I'm just going to say whatever comes to mind and run with it. First thing is that I was caught off guard by something the other day. I had a friend of mine actually THANKED me for blogging. Gave them the inspiration they needed to get through a tough patch in their life, and also the inspiration to start blogging themselves. This at first struck me as odd. My blogs usually aren't anything worth reading in my opinion. It's just my cluster fucked thoughts thrown onto a word document for the world to see. Though to know that someone actually appreciates what I do on this site...To be honest, it was the upper that I have needed for quite some time. I feel motivated. I want to try to do more regular actual posts, and less like the last two.

Though sometimes you just have to get that little thought out before it eats you alive.
Even if the thought isn't so little.
I'm beginning to wish I didn't have a job anymore. I wish it was like a Mario game. I would just have to run around, collect some coins off the ground, maybe eat a couple mushrooms along the way, and I'd be all good. I'm ever so grateful to have a job at all. I know of a handful of people who wish that they had jobs, but can't find one, especially this late into the summer. The only problem I have is that I don't really have too much free time anymore. I find myself alone quite a bit. Usually just sitting at home, doing stuff around the house, or a new favorite activity of mine, driving to the park with my iPod and camera and just having some me time for a while. I'm going to try to get out a little more as the summer comes closer and closer to an end, but I guess how much of a life I have is up to Kamila at this point.

And after how bad I pissed her off today, I don't think I'll be seeing outside those four walls anytime soon.

Really wish I had something of worth to say... I feel like all I do is ramble on these. Oh well. I finally got my computer fixed, and now it can actually run video editing software software. Seems too little too late though. I don't know if I actually have the drive to do a Youtube channel anymore. It would be cool, don't get me wrong. Maybe once I get back to Purdue I'll do something with it full time. Looking back, though, I had a list of things that I was going to do with the channel. I suppose rather, a list of things that I was going to do in general with this summer. A grand total of none of those things have been done. I'm such a slacker, hu?

That's all I've got for now really. I'm tired...And I've got to work through what is one of my favorite holidays tomorrow. The fourth of July. We usually as a family go spend it with a family friend downtown, have a huge cookout, light off our own fireworks, then watch the downtown ones. The past three years I haven't been able to do it though because of work. This year is no different. I sometimes hate that place.

I just got the memo about this upgrade to version two.
It removes extraneous programs that needs emotions
Like loving you
I don't wanna lose myself or ever say goodbye
I wanna hold on to my consciousness I don't
Want to die
I'm in the same boat...I just don't know how. Or if you even want to hear it.
I'm sure you don't.
Obai.